It remains striking how often some men have a distorted view of women’s everyday reality. Statements like “but none of my friends would ever do something like that” or Bart Schols’ remark that his female friends do not feel unsafe directly contradict what statistics, research, and women’s lived experiences show. Every eight days in the Netherlands, a woman is killed. Two in five women have experienced sexual violence. Eighty-three percent of girls and young women have experienced unwanted sexual behaviour in public space, and for 63 percent those experiences limit their freedom of movement. As Soundos rightly said, “We’re talking about numbers and statistics.” And yet, that still does not seem to be enough.
How is it possible that in 2026, a woman still has to explain on national television that women do face risks, do experience boundary-crossing behaviour, and do have to stay alert? The exhaustion of having to repeat this over and over again was palpable. And ironically, it was not only the host who received criticism, but also the woman who stated the facts. Much of the backlash focused on her tone, her sharpness, her “presence.”
A few years ago, I was walking to a friend’s house in the evening. They lived three streets away. I had walked that route alone many times before. Always cautious, because there were many alleys and dark corners along the way. I would walk quickly, in the middle of the street, with my keys between my knuckles. Nothing had ever happened on that route before, but that does not guarantee the future. And one night, it did happen. I noticed a man walking behind me. Not unusual at that time of night, but it did not feel right. I sped up and he sped up too. I started running and he followed. That was when I knew something was wrong. Luckily, I knew I did not have far to go. When I reached my friends’ front door, I dared to look back and saw him watching me from behind a wall. I have never walked that route alone again.
I remember when Soundos participated in Expeditie Robinson in 2017. She received a lot of criticism for how she behaved. People found her annoying, too present, disruptive. The way she was portrayed in the media at the time meant that people around me did not take her seriously. The same pattern appeared after her conversation with Bart Schols. A woman with an opinion is framed as overly present, exaggerated, and therefore not credible. Even when what she says is correct and far from irrelevant. It is not the man who interrupts or downplays her who receives criticism, but the woman who raises her voice.
Maybe we need more so-called irritating, outspoken, disruptive women in this world. Maybe we need more women who refuse to make themselves small, who are loud, who confront, who do not wait for men to “understand.” Not because women enjoy doing so, but because it is still necessary. As Sophie Straat sings, “Men, become aware.”
Lisa van Boekel, master’s student in Gender Studies at Utrecht University with a background in Liberal Arts and Sciences, Social Justice, Law, and experience researching street harassment for the municipality of Tilburg, wrote this guest blog for Fairspace.
Interested in being an outspoken disruptor too? Send a short pitch for a guest blog to tessel@fairspace.co
